Sean Spicer was giddy thinking about his job interview in the AM. 

He could see his new title now: 

Director of Communications, Dippin’ Dots.  

From the Desk of Gen. John Kelly

Dear God…

          What — have I done…?

Shuffling out of the White House with a week’s worth of supplies in a cardboard box, the Mooch was really regretting throwing that Golden Shower welcome party for General Kelly. 

White House Intern photo — 2017

“The Boy Scouts were ecstatic about their meeting with President Trump at today’s jamboree in West Virginia.” — FOX NEWS 

The residents of Columbus, New Mexico waited at the Mexican border all day, every day hoping to be hit with 60 pound sacks of drugs from the Mexican rapists so they could escape the misery of living one more second with Trump as president. It was extreme but shit was getting real with all the breaking news and Flossie was already so behind on her soaps. 

The orphans of Russia were tickled beyond belief to hear that Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin used their secret hour at a dinner to talk about them! They were also a bit skeptical of the claim. 

Us too kids, us too. 

Donny T. so tired after pretending to drive big fire truck at “Made in America” week. Vroom Vroom…

“Ouch! Chinese tie is choky.”

Mike Pence takes it off for Donny. 

Donald Trump on his visit to France: “My handshake with the French is stronger than ever. Really, really a strong handshake, stronger than it’s ever been.”

“She’s in such good physical shape…beautiful,” said Donald Trump to the owner of a retired thoroughbred mare he was thinking of buying. Oh wait no…he said that to French president Emmanuel Macron about his wife, when she was standing right there.