“I’m not going to deny that I talked with that rooster,” said Carter Page appearing on a popular barnyard talk show “All In with Miss Mayes,” although, I will say that I never met him anywhere outside of the hen house. Let’s just say that much.”
“I may have met him – possibly – it might have been in the hen house,” Page added, after more prodding from the host.
Melania Trump’s totally unfounded claims that Baron is allergic to “the hairs of those black dogs that lived here before” have fallen on deaf ears and soon they must leave their gilded palace and head to The White House. “What bullshit, she fumes, “I hate that house of white, I hate Donny, I hate those smiling wives from the other countries. I should have stayed dancing and “dating” in Slovenia.” With a quick turn of her heels into her limo she smiles slyly, at least her official portrait is sexy. “Airbrushed my ass.” Well, maybe a little…
“Sweet baby Jesus in the manger!” did that kid’s bubble scare Mike Pence half to death as he dined alone at The Melting Pot. His eyes, glassy from eating too much cheese, mistook it for a woman dining at his table. “I’m sorry Mother, I’m sorry…”
Neil Gorsuch super regrets this damn Supreme Court nonsense. Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, all day with the questions … Waaaa the poor cold truck driver….Waaaa the Autistic kid….Waaaa Hobby Lobby. Just shut up already. His head pounds and don’t EVEN get him started on his arm pain. Ever since the vigorous handshake with that boob Trump at his January nomination his arms feel like they’ve been yanked off.
Chris Christie regrets fussing about Donald Trump making him eat meatloaf for lunch at The White House back in February when everyone else got to pick their own dish. Truth is — he freaking loves it. As he unsuccessfully tries to replicate the recipe at his NJ home, he snickers over the irony that he was tapped to launch a commission to combat drug addiction. He is an addict and that meatloaf is his drug of choice. Don’t eff this job up Chris, don’t eff this up.”
Vladimir Putin wishes he hadn’t picked such a boob of a man to be his US puppet. Sigh.
Kellyanne Conway hasn’t been the same since she was sent to the basement for incessant barking. She loves to bark and enjoys her voice. She is strong and proud and loud. She is a German shepherd, a Rottweiler, a Mastiff! Whoops! alternative facts again. Hee Hee it’s so hard not to give them. Well, at least her inauguration outfit still looks great on her.
Sean Spicer was exhausted. Not even at his new job 100 days and he’s already up 20 pounds, gotten grayer and, well, the Visine sure doesn’t seem to be working. He feels bad for yelling at that tenacious secretary who kindly set up the meeting with his boss and those black people. She seems nice enough but her shaking head reminded him of Dippin’ Dots, and he hadn’t eaten since he popped his last pack of cinnamon Orbit at 10:00 AM.
Stealing a rare moment for himself Jared Kushner wonders how his role as “senior advisor to the president” got to be more work than the presidents job? It’s enough that he’s in charge of managing peace in the Middle East and managing Mexican and Canadian relations, now he’s got to deal with the opioid crisis and veterans affairs??? He’s glad he agreed to testify about Russian ties. He may just spill the beans. Prison has got to be more relaxing than this bullshit.
One thing he knows for sure, sundown on Friday cannot come soon enough.
Breathless from racing out of a town car and into an Uber and then across the White House grounds, Devin Nunes feels allegiance and pride. He will not let his master down. He will not.
Yuge Kingdom 