The history books would refer to the spate of Republican health care bills in the Trump administration as The McConnell Conundrum: the need to vote along party lines to repeal Obamacare while jeopardizing their own chances to get coverage for a preexisting condition caused directly by the actions of, and proximity to, the President of the United States.

In McConnell’s case just hearing Trump’s voice caused his left testicle to spasm so violently he sometimes jerked the table. He knew he had to vote yes but was banking on Susan, Lisa and John to vote no. He needed his stabilizing testicle brace (not covered under the repeal). He would not be called Flutter Nutter anymore. He would NOT.