Shuffling out of the White House with a week’s worth of supplies in a cardboard box, the Mooch was really regretting throwing that Golden Shower welcome party for General Kelly. 

White House Intern photo — 2017

“The Boy Scouts were ecstatic about their meeting with President Trump at today’s jamboree in West Virginia.” — FOX NEWS 

The residents of Columbus, New Mexico waited at the Mexican border all day, every day hoping to be hit with 60 pound sacks of drugs from the Mexican rapists so they could escape the misery of living one more second with Trump as president. It was extreme but shit was getting real with all the breaking news and Flossie was already so behind on her soaps. 

The orphans of Russia were tickled beyond belief to hear that Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin used their secret hour at a dinner to talk about them! They were also a bit skeptical of the claim. 

Us too kids, us too. 

Donny T. so tired after pretending to drive big fire truck at “Made in America” week. Vroom Vroom…

“Ouch! Chinese tie is choky.”

Mike Pence takes it off for Donny. 

Donald Trump on his visit to France: “My handshake with the French is stronger than ever. Really, really a strong handshake, stronger than it’s ever been.”

“She’s in such good physical shape…beautiful,” said Donald Trump to the owner of a retired thoroughbred mare he was thinking of buying. Oh wait no…he said that to French president Emmanuel Macron about his wife, when she was standing right there. 

‪”Welcome to France President Trump, we’re so happy to celebrate Bastille Day with you and the First Lady, I trust all is well at home?” said President Emmanuel Macron, greeting the Trumps at their pre-Bastille Day meeting ‬at Les Invalides, the site of Napoleon’s tomb. 

‪A guy named Don from Manhattan‬ ‪got an email he knew to be happenin’‬

‪It promised shit on his Daddy’s big rival,‬ ‪and might be their only shot at survival. ‬

‪He got the note from a big tub named Goldstone, who obviously spent all his free time at Coldstone. ‬

‪Goldstone told Don about this lawyer with news and said “hurry up! Go on, tell the Jews!”‬

‪Don checked in with Paul and his bro-in-law too, they all set up a date, day nine in June.‬

‪The meeting came on a day with some showers (not that kind), Goldstone met them there at Trump Towers (and then checked in on Facebook 🙄). ‬

‪The room was filled with loads of endorphins, until the lawyer started in on talk about orphans. What????‬

‪Donny and Paul and Jared were mad, they really wanted to help out ol’ Dad. ‬

‪They had set up this meeting to hear all the dirt, but got nothing but shit from that broad in a skirt. ‬

‪Punchline is, it’s never very smart to commit treason, even if you think you have a really good reason. ‬
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